it's a love/hate kind of thing.

I used to hold hate in pretty high regard. When I was 16 or 17 I really enjoyed the idea of it and kind of ran with it for a few years. If you hated everyone you didn’t really have to give a shit how you felt about what they thought. I was never vocal about it, I mostly kept it all inside and only told a few of my friends about how the way I felt. Looking back on it now I realize that was a pretty silly way to think about things. I had no reason to hate. Not a single one. It was just easy and kind of fun.

Nowadays I’m relaxed in my thinkings and much more open to other people’s ideas and feelings. Hate takes so much time and energy that could be put towards more worthwhile things.

I’ve also noticed that a lot of people are about hating everyone and everything these days. I don’t know if it’s just some sort of façade, like a trend or some shit like that. When I first moved to Salt Lake I remember the first couple summers people were all about that ELE. I don’t know if it was 2012 or the terrible winter we had but I feel people are just more prone to saying “fuck you” rather than trying to be friendly.  When my friends and I would go out for drinks in a packed bar on Friday night we would get smiles, polite head nods, “excuse mes”, etc. The same friends and I can’t go out to a bar recently without getting a crusty ass-eating glare from some dickhead, his ugly girlfriend and all 6 of their dipshit friends. And see what that does! That kind of rubs off on me and I get to hating. I catch myself talking trash about random people when I’m out and about. And I blame all you dicks who are being dicks, you make me act like a dick! Don't be a dick!

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that I just want everyone to be cool again. Can we all just go grab beers and laugh and make fun of each other this summer? Like old times?

I’m keeping my hopes high that this summer is hot and long and that it melts this wicked Utah winter ice from everyone’s disgusting black hearts.

Taking Heed.

As the year goes on it gets better. I am very lucky to have what I have and I’m going to keep running with it. But I feel like I have to be very careful. With all this positive energy coming my way I cannot take it for granted.

When things are given to people on a constant basis they start to expect them.  After a while people begin to take these things for granted. They feel entitled to them.

                                                                                    

With all these good things coming my way, I cannot begin to expect them. I cannot feel entitled to them. What if they are taken away from me?

I don’t believe that they will be.

What if I take them for granted and fall into old ways?

I caught myself thinking like I used to a few years ago a couple times in the last month.

I can’t get too comfortable and begin to expect these things that are now mine.

I need to keep working. Pushing. Striving. Striding. wordvomit.

Karma only pays out what you put in.

Is that odd to think?

                                                                                                     

You caught me on a really strange day.

Lazy Sunday

So I would usually write something up that had some sort of deep meaning to me.

But I decided that this sunday would be better spent drinking and getting drunk before 5pm.

In lieu of me writing, I'm going to post some pictures.

I recently purchased a Sony Nex 5 and since day one have had no fucking clue how to work it.

However, this week I'm posting my favorite pictures I've taken from the past week of owning the Sony Nex 5.

I'm no professional, and I would never claim to be, but I really like these pictures.

This was the first picture I took with the camera.

This is a shot of my terribly small kitchen.

This is a galaxy...

The ever lovely Kacee Boswell, you can follow her at scarletcity.blogspot.com

The Rents!

My parents came to visit this weekend. I love these people, which is why you’re going to hear about them.

It’s really hard for me to decide exactly what to tell you about my mother and father. There are many, many, many stories I could tell you about the travels they took me on before I was even in high school, or the parental knowledge they’ve instilled on me throughout my 23 short years. But unfortunately for you those moments, memories, thoughts and whatever you want to call them are mine. Maybe I’ll share a few of them with you down the road, but for now I’ll keep them with me.

I will tell you that every time I sit down to have dinner with them I become incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of love I have for them. I look across the table at them and am just kind of dumbfounded with the emotion that I feel. I wouldn’t say that this feeling is completely new; I’ve more just realized exactly what they mean to me. These are the people that brought me into this world! Two years after moving to Utah and leaving home, my appreciation for my parents has become full. They don’t spoil me, they take care of me. They would never pay my rent! They will however take me to CostCo and drop about 400 dollars on me. And they would do it every time they came to visit if I would let them. They would never buy me a brand new car, but there is a fresh gallon of milk, a home cooked hunk of corned beef and a brand spankin’ new set of Tupperware for my daily lunches sitting in my kitchen. And those things speak volumes more than a new car ever would. A lot of people don’t understand when I tell them these sorts of things.

I suppose that my parents just raised me to appreciate the things that really matter and not to take the things I have, or receive for granted.

I could honesty rant and rave about my parents for pages and pages. But as I said before, you’ll have to wait to hear more about them.