blog recycled.

Below is a piece I wrote for my old blog, a day in the life of carl.
I have been pretty overwhelmed with sleeping and eating, so I haven't really had the time to give a shit and write something so I figured I'd recycle this particular entry.

I really like this story though, it still makes me laugh.

Just a Youngin'

Do you ever think back to when you were a little kid? And realize what you had done so long ago?
I personally remember being about the most well behaved child that could have ever lived. But I also remember one time, when I wasn't the kindest young man.

I want to say I was around five, or six when this particular story happened. I was living in a small copper mining town in Michigan at the time. And my best friend in the whole world at the time was a kid by the name of Robert. My mother used to drop me off at his house for the day sometimes, and I remember when that happened I had a blast. I mean, this kid had a Super Nintendo! That was a large step up from my NES. Robert also lived by a paved alley where we would always take our action figures, and our bikes, and we could spend hours at a time out there. Robert also had a neighbor kid that lived just down the alley. This kid was very strange, not just because of the fact that his parents bought him girl's toys, but that he gladly played with these toys. I remember one day, Robert and I were playing with our G.I. Joes in the alley, and this kid, let's call him Jimmy, came over to where we were and started showing off some fairy princess toy his parents had just gotten him. It was some thing you put on a rip cord, and when you pulled it, it would fly up into the air and slowly find it's way back down to the ground, any girl my age probably knows exactly what I am talking about. Anyway, after a few minutes of this kid talking, Robert and I knew exactly what we were going to do. We were going to take this kid's fairy princess bullshit, and make his day miserable. Needless to say, we used our little kid art form of deception, and fed Jimmy some line like, "oh wow dude, that's pretty cool, do you mind if we try it?" He was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in and handed it over. Big mistake, Jimbo. We proceeded to tell him that we were going to keep it, and that if he tried to take it back, we were going to smash it with a hammer. Jimmy was in shock, not only that, he was on the brink of tears. Robert and I told him we were kidding, and pretended like we were going to give the toy back, yet more use of our little kid deception. As Robert went to hand it to him, he passed it to me at the last second and I took it and hid it by a shed in the alley while Robert distracted Jimmy. When I came back, I told him Jimmy that I had done the unthinkable, and smashed it with a hammer. Jimmy burst into tears and ran back to his house. Robert and I had a good laugh about the whole situation, and went back to playing with our action figures. About fifteen minutes later Jimmy was back, this time with his mother. She told us that we needed to give Jimmy's toy back, and if we had, in fact smashed it with a hammer, we were going to be in big trouble. I went to the spot I had hidden the toy and reluctantly gave it back to the little shit. We told him we were sorry (all lies, every word of our "sincere apologies"). Jimmy stalked back to his house with his mother giving us a scowl the entire time.
Despite this minor set back in our otherwise awesome day, Robert and I went back to being little kids. We found a can of WD-40 and a lighter and started spraying it on spots of the alley where the birds had shit from the powerlines overhead. This was an amazing time for us young kids. After a good twenty minutes of this incredible passtime, guess who came back? You guessed it, Jimmy, fairy princess flier firmly clutched in his hand. He proceeded to ask what we were doing, and we answered with some smart ass comment like, "what's it look like dummy?". Jimmy was as amazed as we were. Jimmy must not have been a very bright kid, because he asked what the white spots we setting on fire were. Robert and I both realized that this was our chance to get him back for getting us in trouble with his mother earlier. Robert told him that it was ice cream, and I backed it up by saying we had been eating ice cream and that it had melted and dripped onto the pavement, earlier before he came out. We assured him it was still good, and that he should probably lick it off the pavement, because we didn't have anymore in Roberts freezer. Jimmy was apprehensive at first, and told us that we needed to prove that it was really ice cream by licking it first. We somehow performed Oscar winning performances, taking turns putting our faces down by the sun-baked bird shit, and pretending to touch our tongues to it, because Jimmy was all in after seeing us do it, and proceeded to lean over and actually lick the spot of bird deuce on the pavement. What in the fuck was this kid thinking? We had just been spraying WD-40 on the exact spot and putting fire to it. Robert and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled the beans to Jimmy that he had just licked dry bird shit. Once again he burst into tears and ran home. Robert and I continued to laugh, and decided that we should probably head inside before he came back with his mom this time.
That was the last time I would ever see Jimmy, the kid my childhood friend and I had tricked into licking a dry spot of bird shit in the alley where we used to play.

I recently remembered this little tidbit from my past and decided to write about it. I don't know why, or how I remembered it. It's all very faint to me, and almost seems like a dream. But it really makes me think, why would I have done that to someone? I mean, they say "boys will be boys", but I think that takes it a bit far. But then again, I was just five, or six years old, and there were no repercussions for what we did, but does that really make up for it? I now wonder about how Jimmy turned out. Did this event have some sort of impact on his life? Or would it just be a cliff note in his childhood, that he doesn't remember?

Whichever one it was, I will never know.