3A

3A?

How are you?

I miss you.

The times we had.

I spent the winter with you. And you taught me a lot. About myself.

How many nights did we spend with the lights off and the music on?

How many hours did I lay with you in the dark, realizing so many things?

When I moved in, the landlord told me the spots on the ceiling were from people smoking heroin in the kitchen. And in all honesty I thought that was pretty cool.

Not that people were smoking heroin, but that you had the scars to prove it.

The floor was still covered in dust, painter’s tape all around the ceiling.

Your shitty/awesome black and pink 80s-era tile in the bathroom was a major selling point.

The first night I spent with you, I was scared.

The old building that you find yourself in creaked and settled, and it scared the fuck out of me.

Your radiators would breathe and hiss, I learned to love it. We would scare everyone that came over. You would spit and creak and I would pretend to not even notice.

They would ask “Dude, do you fucking hear that?!”

“Hear what?”

“All the weird fucking noises your place is making?!’

“Nahhhhhhh.”

You harbored my inspirations, body and mind when I began to write.

With you, I was able to hide away from everything for a bit and focus my interests and energy into something I had wanted for a very long time.

You saw me stress out and let myself be upset.

You saw me lavish in success when I was finished with a piece.

I won’t even begin to talk about all the different forms of myself that I exposed to you.

Introverted to outgoing.

Happy to sad.

Pathetic to strong.

Lost to found.

Found to lost.

I didn’t hold back with you.

My friend made a joke about “heroin demons”, but it lingered in the back of my mind. You were scary, okay?!

How many times did I lay in bed at night, head altered swearing I could feel something watching me? How many times did I expect one of these “demons” to show itself while I lay silently?

You had no demons, only the ones I brought with myself.

And you helped me get rid of some of them.

You showed me a little bit of myself.

A little bit of who I was.

A little bit of who I want to be.

A little bit of what I want.

A little bit about other people, the way they work, my feelings towards them.

A little bit about the world.

3A?

I cherish our time together.

I miss you.

I love you.